1. |
Bag of Jeans
02:49
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I understand we’re all turning into our parents
But you’re not the same as your mom
It’s the thing that you fixate on
I’ve got the psyche of a dropbox or google docs
It’s the thing I get from my pops and that’s not wrong
Bag of genes
And just last week you wondered if we were held too tight
Maybe that’s why I’m risk averse
Unless I’m drunk or it’s summer
Baby there’s always a first
You were held but much less tight and for much less time
Is that why you lied about the ski team
Cause I don’t mind
Bag of genes
And every time we fight you send me the same ten lines
You forgot you sent it before, but it makes me laugh each time
You even preface it the same exact way to me
The poem says we should end the cycle but you disagree
You disagree
You disagree
Bag of genes
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2. |
Scar
03:15
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Maybe I’d like the scar
I might not mind being reminded every time that I find it
Baby I’ll be a star
You never will forget the month my leg turned purple, blue and red
I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m dead
I can’t quit scraping away at my body every day
Our special month was interrupted twice by death
What’s the point of breathing if you will run out of breath?
Maybe I’ll call you up
I’m 26 years old and still have trouble knowing what to pack
Anxiety bad luck
Two hours early to the gate and still forgot my medication, fuck
I’m gone, I’m gone, I’m gone
Call the pharmacy, ask what antibiotic am I on
Sometimes I cannot even answer my own needs
What’s the point of thinking if it cannot set you free?
What’s the point of wordplay
If you’ve got nothing to say
What’s the point of anxiety if it still won’t go your way?
What’s the point of wordplay
If you’ve got nothing to say
What’s the point of anxiety if it still won’t go your way?
You lack the capacity
To help me in my time of need
And I can’t take your help so ultimately that’s just great
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3. |
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When am I gonna stop writing songs about
Being an asshole to my friends
And just start never being
An asshole to them
I caught on to admitting my faults
So I’ll never have to change
Something I think I read
In college days
You were surprised, you were surprised
Things I admitted to
Revealing my anxieties
Over Chinese food
You were surprised, you were surprised
But I could not be fooled
I’m alright and I’m always fine
But I am never good
Oh Todd
Why’d you let me treat ya
Like a lesser creature
I don’t want
To have to worry bout ya
Cause i’m the worst around ya
And oh Todd
I don’t wanna teach ya
Cause I’m a shitty teacher
You’d just nod
And I’d just nod
It wears on you, it wears on you
It doesn’t wear on me
An easy time, a healthy mind
A hard thing to believe
When is it gonna stop
If it’ll ever stop
Or can I just unsee?
It’s not how it goes
Unfortunately
Did you ditch your ego
Dissolving it in LSD?
Did you ditch the east coast
To get a graduate degree?
Or was it about other things
And are those things the same for me?
Oh Todd
Why’d you let me treat ya
Like a lesser creature
I don’t want
To have to worry bout ya
Cause I’m the worst around ya
And oh Todd
I don’t wanna teach ya
Cause I’m a shitty teacher
You’d just nod
And I’d just nod
When am I gonna stop writing songs about
Being an asshole to my friends
And just start never being
An asshole to them
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4. |
Watergate
04:55
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On the night that I turned 25
You were nowhere to be found
I was in my lonely light
It was the same day James Comey testified
Reminds me of my parents when they were just children
Obsessed with Watergate hearings
They were just eight or nine then
Sitting on the floor next to the television
Watching, losing faith in government
I guess it’s just what you told me, I’m all alone and I’m getting old
These crooks are not to be trusted any further than they can be thrown
A mutual fascination is a reason to connect from Midwest to East Coast
You’re just a kid, you better learn to take it slow
Ask me how it connects
Ooh you’re such a skeptic
I’m a skeptic too, I just won’t admit
I’ll undress you
You’ll undress me too, god bless it
Comey’s off the big screen
Parents spreading margarine
They’re both well past 50, still they’re holding steady
Now my baby can see just the way they raised me
Watching, gaining faith in baby
I guess it’s just what you told me, I’m all alone and I’m getting old
These crooks are not to be trusted any further than they can be thrown
A mutual fascination is a reason to connect from Midwest to East Coast
You’re just a kid, you better learn to take it slow
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5. |
I Would Do That
03:16
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Oh dear, it’s not the same
As things once were
No fear, I feel the same
I would do that anyways
I would do that anyways
I would do that anyways
I would do that, I would do that, oh
It’s hard to always be checking in
Are we on the same page?
I would do that anyways
I would do that anyways
I would do that anyways
I would do that, I would do that, oh
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6. |
Old
01:44
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Half of these feelings aren’t my feelings anymore
And I am getting afraid that the album is a bore
How long have I been working on it for?
Half of these feelings aren’t my feelings anymore
By now I’m overjoyed that I am rid of her
I’m still singing sad songs but the songs no longer hurt
I play saxophone
A silver saxophone
A shiny silver saxophone
And it’s sitting at home
This piece of shit
Work ethic
Makes me move so slow I wanna quit
Half of these feelings aren’t my feelings anymore
But I guess I could still enjoy the notes and chords
Maybe that’s just the way it goes
We always sing about things that are old
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7. |
Control
03:51
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I don’t have control, I don’t have control
I need to know the things that just aren’t worth
Worrying about anymore
Running through these weeks
I am just unrecognizable to myself
Why did you start to cry while sitting on the couch?
Is it the infinite impossible small things to worry bout?
Natie gives you a good talk
Takes you to deli and drinks to your health
I heard a kid ask a teacher today
What is a memory?
Man sometimes life is great
At 4:15 I was awake and a mess
My mind’s a broke machine
Sometimes I’m not okay
I need to draw my lines and take some power back
If she loses me I’m not the one who’s missing out on that
The deli’s bout to close but we take that shit to go
We’re back on track
I don’t have control, I don’t have control
But baby I have got the parts I need to make my heart feel whole
Writing these reminders I can sing myself
When anxious thoughts are back
I heard a kid ask a teacher today
What is a memory?
Man sometimes life is great
At 4:15 I was awake and a mess
My mind’s a broke machine
Sometimes I’m not okay
I don’t have control, I don’t have control
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8. |
NBA
04:02
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I don’t want to do the work
And I know you don’t either
Paper bag over my head
Honey can I have a winter cap instead?
Trouble with your free throw game
Won’t fly in the NBA
But you’re not feeling yourself
Tell the press conference about your mental health
Photos hanging on a wall
In the Boston area
I will write down every name
So I don’t forget the cities where they came from
Chew your gum
What the fuck you running from?
Douggie’s finally someone
Douggie’s finally someone
Don’t tell me now you’re scared of where you’re at
Put your money where your mouth at least used to be
Why’ve I got such a problem with that?
I’m not tryna break your heart
Three alarms, five minutes apart
Stressful to communicate
It’s a complicated type of inspiration
Chew your gum, I don’t wanna interfere with ya
Take two months I’ll get a head above water
I’m hurting the order of everything
Mute the call I don’t need to hear it
Always a new version but of the same story
You’re sorry, me too, can we handle everything
I go to Montana, bring back a bandana that’s got a map on it
I show you my heart and you take a crap on it
Everything
Chew your gum, I don’t wanna interfere with ya
Take two months I’ll get a head above water
I’m hurting the order of everything
Chew your gum
What the fuck you running from?
Douggie’s finally someone
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9. |
26 (Therapy)
04:39
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I don’t keep it all in, but I don’t let it all out either
It won’t fester, it won’t peter out
It will just stay the same
I have always wondered if sitting on a couch would help
Like gangster movies on my shelf, I guess I’ll try it for a change
Erotic transference, psychosexual occurrence
How could I write a thing about processes that I’ve never seen?
Therapy might be the key
Will there be a time where my metabolism flips
And I cash in my fish and chips to keep the calories in line?
And will there be an age I need emotional assist?
My father swears it’s 26, it might be both at the same time
I ended my internance, and upped the daily life disturbance
How could I choose a philosophy, that’s just not for me?
Everything is fine, baby
I wonder half the time
Is everything fine, baby?
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10. |
Little Wants
06:17
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I’m not that religious about things
I mean I am not religious at all
But I know better than to look past the little wants
The moments I find words
The old man at the party said take good care of her
But it’s the 21st century, she can take good care for sure
Am I the selfish one?
I no longer need to know that I’m being good
I was standing on the train car
A guy walked in through the door
He sat and I thought I saw his hand slide to comfort the arm of his neighbor
Do they even know each other?
Is this such a rare sight?
Til I noticed it was her left arm just resting on her right
Oh, I comfort myself too
I no longer need to know that I’m being good
Dad said when you’re settled call me up
When I got on the bus I called him up
He said Grandma had another stroke she cannot speak right now
She probably won’t die but she could, death is abrupt
You always said it’s sad but it’s okay
Said death is a big deal but it’s okay
After the first stroke five years ago she was no longer herself
So half the sadness is behind us anyways
Well I felt something, but I felt nothing too
Sat on the bus just watching Bojack, it’s my third time going through
I’m sad but more stressed out, logistics win without a doubt
Has the web age made a mannequin of you?
I thought of my friends and if one of them should pass
That kind of tragedy would really kick my ass
A speeding car would end our good times playing lawn games and free jazz
Grandma would beat us all at Scrabble, I felt emotional at last
Dad thought that maybe I could write a song about
The processing of grief and fear, indifference and doubt
And that seems forced to me but at the same time I know better
Than to look past times when words come tumbling out
The little wants
I’m not that religious about things
I mean I am not religious at all
But I know better than to look past the little wants
The moments I find words
Imagine me a car crash, imagine me alone
At the party, on the train car, on the bus ride heading home
Do you make it up too?
I no longer need to know that I’m being good
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Market Brooklyn, New York
Brooklyn-based band of songwriter / multi-instrumentalist / producer Nate Mendelsohn
The Consistent
Brutal Bullshit Gong out April 29th via Western Vinyl
Previous albums at: cowsattheedgeoftheearth.bandcamp.com
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